BREAKING: Superdog Unleashed in Streator

Today on Reading & 5th, a Rottweiler achieved what most of us only dream of—tearing off part of a porch and dragging it down the street like a chew toy from Menards.

Yes, you read that right. A literal chunk of porch is now somewhere on the lam, reportedly still attached to its four-legged liberator. Witnesses say the dog pulled off the stunt with the casual confidence of a superhero escaping captivity—probably humming its own theme song as it strutted down the sidewalk, timber in tow.

Let’s just hope the pup is okay, not hurt, and simply out on a joy-walk with its new porch accessory. If you spot a dog with part of someone’s front stoop attached to it, please do not challenge it to an arm-wrestling match. Instead, contact Streator Animal Control immediately at 815-672-2517 or send a message to the Facebook page.

Also, check your porches. One might be missing.

🦴🦸‍♂️🐕 #PorchBreaker #StreatorStrongDog #AnimalControlAvengers